Survivors Speak Out

Some of the many men who appear in Boyhood Shadows talk about why they chose to be interviewed for this very public, groundbreaking documentary.

 

Alfredo
“I’m almost 22 years old, but I know who I am. I’m old enough to know I wanted to participate and help. I feel this will help people especially Mexican-American and Mexican and Latinos in general... Because a lot of people are hesitant to say anything about abuse… even women won’t say anything. They are real tough. I think if they see more Hispanics coming out and saying something about it, they might too. I feel in that way I would help.”

Allen
“I spent 35 years not dealing with what happened to me but I reached a point in my life where I could not - not - seek help and I looked at the interview as assisting me with recovery. I sincerely hope the film opens that door to other victims who have not yet discovered the courage to delve into the dark places of their past.”

Curtis
“I agreed to be interviewed so others will understand the stigma we carry from abuse is an illusion, recovery is possible, and with hard work any survivor can become the happiest person they know. I hope Boyhood Shadows becomes a catalyst for change in society’s thinking and helps in the fight to end abuse and heal the survivors.”

Erik
“I want to send a message to all of the men who have remained silent, that there is help out there and healing is possible. I hope this film will help bring the truth about male sexual abuse to the forefront and educate people about the myths and stigmas that are attached to it.”

Glenn
“I am alive today because I finally spoke out about the sexual abuse in my past. For years, I swore I would tell no one! I had been on the streets, in jail, and in mental hospitals. This film has saved my life. After decades of addiction, my family finally gave me an ultimatum: I had to go into therapy. I didn’t want to go but finally, I went to Monterey to Stephen Braveman’s men’s group. We made the PSA and then we had the idea for a documentary. There is no shame in being a victim! There is a sense of freedom in talking about your abuse in a group of men that have that common bond. You can get the pain out.”

Jorge
“I have stopped hiding from my fears, and I am facing them head on, slowly and surely. If [this film] helps save one boy or helps one man find his way back from the devastation that is childhood sexual victimization (CSV), then what we have done is worth it.

“This problem needs more exposure: so more prevention can be put in place, so more men can see they are really not alone, and so those that treat post-traumatic stress can see that a special focus on this kind of PTSD must be made. If the number 1-in-6 is close to true, that means around 20 million men in the USA have suffered some form of CSV, and trust me, nowhere near that number are getting help.”

Lee
“I wanted to show other male victims they are not alone, that help and support are available and that in order to survive the demons they can and must seek that help. I hope this film will wake up the everyday citizen that has ignored this travesty. People, especially those in the Catholic pews with their heads in the sand, need to understand that men like Roger Mahony need to be removed and punished if they ever want their children to be safe again. Until some very high-profile examples of those who have concealed and nurtured the crisis of sexual abuse spend some time in prison to contemplate their behavior, nothing will change. It is time for the community to make clear in a resounding voice that the abuse of our children will no longer be tolerated - even when it hides behind a ‘religion’.”

Maurice
"I thought it would be good to have a chocolate brown face in the movie. This would help others of African descent see themselves. The effect would be, ‘Yes, this means you!’ It does not just happen to one group of men or another. Equally important, men of all stripes will benefit from seeking help, no matter what form it takes.

“I think this is an important issue in communities of color because men there are most likely to believe that to ask for help is an act of cowardice. Whereas, those who have done so, can look back on it as an act of great courage - especially when we think of the broken lives we were living before. Even more so when we recall that first courageous step was not nearly as difficult as what was yet to come, before the pain was eventually resolved.”

Nick
"For three decades my voice was a silent scream as I drowned in the burden of my past alone. I stepped out of the shadows, took back the power by freeing my tongue and speaking of my experiences in the hopes that someday no one will ever have to know as I do what it is to be shackled by silence...alone and lost in the shadows."

Robert
“I agreed to be part of this documentary because the therapeutic value of Stephen Braveman’s Men’s Group has changed my life, and my outlook on my own future so much I wanted to give back what I could. My hope is that this film will bring some much-needed attention to a huge and mostly overlooked problem in our society - the problem of wounded boys who grow up to be wounded men with far-reaching effects. Everyone from our wives to our children’s children are affected from this problem. My hope is that more attention and focus be paid to helping as many men as possible.”